new-year-2015New Year’s resolutions are common, but even more ubiquitous are jokes about the failure of those resolutions.   Nevertheless, we all know that some changes are important, so how can you defy the stereotype and make a successful resolution this year? Help is here in the form of some common wisdom (SMART goals), uncommon research (from John Norcross) and some personal additions on the process of setting goals.

To set the stage, here are some insights from research on New Year’s resolutions by John Norcross and colleagues (found here).

First:  Setting goals (or making resolutions) is important.  This study found that 46% of those who made a resolution were successful with that change six months later, compared to only 4% of those who did not resolve.
Second: The first few weeks are critical.  More than half of those who reported being unsuccessful at six months reported they were already unsuccessful in the first two weeks.  Over 70% of those who made it to four weeks also made it to six months successfully.

So what can we offer you to help you make good resolutions and get started successfully?

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family prayerIn our culture, we sometimes think of physical healing as near magic.  Take this potion, that magic pill, wave the x-ray wand, blast it with invisible radiation.  Voila!  You’re better.  Our medical treatments are certainly advanced, but such a degree of technical progress can reduce our sense of agency in the process.  Participating in treatment can feel analogous to taking the car into the shop for an adjustment.

We would often like personal, mental and spiritual healing to work that way.  But, as John Donne said, “no man is an island”; we are intimately connected to others and healing is a relational endeavor.  “Ok, that sounds great”, you say, “but what does it really mean?”  What do we know about mental development that can help us understand healing?

For a moment, let’s put on our neuroscience lenses (realizing that this information is a generalization; the raw science – well there are whole other books for that!).  The way that our brains develop, the very way in which our genes express themselves, is dependent on the type of interactions that we have with others. Read More →